pfft, that's not a kitchen conversation piece. handing somebody a bottle of "fuck off and die" or "holy shit its hot" is a conversation starter.

Gochu (pepper) is also Korean slang for "penis", so it could be a conversation starter. I just don't know if it's a conversation you really want to be having.

If you are really into hot Korean food you could try ddeokbokki (pronounced duck-bokki), which is basically long cylinders of rice cakes cooked and slathered with pepper sauce. Or if you don't mind squid -- they use a much larger version of what Italians would call calimari; ojinga bokkum is basically what would happen if a squid fell in a vat of lava and died. In both appearance and flavor.

For pretty much anything, you should ask for it hot if you want it hot. Most places take it really easy on the spice if you don't specify. When the waitress/waiter givess a look like "Oh, I see. You would like to die", then you know they are understanding you and will bring out the hot and spicy.